


would you like a bag?

by honkpara



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys in Skirts, Cigarettes, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), POV GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, cashier boy, dreamnotfound, no beta we die like georgenotfound in manhunts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honkpara/pseuds/honkpara
Summary: clay is one of those stereotypical 'bad boys'. he's constantly out stealing, getting drunk and smoking. one day when he needs new cigarettes, he meets the new cashier at the gas station. george.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 70





	1. cigarettes

**Author's Note:**

> also on wattpad @honkpara! thought i’d post my shit on here too in case it gets deleted off wattpad aha

clay couldn't stop running from things. whether it was the police or his problems. both of which he did anyway.

clay taken was his full name. he liked it sometimes, when his parents weren't yelling it. that used to happen a lot. thankfully he moved out and was a free man. he was tall, blonde and a completely handsome man. girls were all over him whenever he was at parties. he slept with them, made out with them and rejected them.

he had a type and his type was boys. they were so much easier to talk to, hotter when naked and more willing to smoke.

he was running again. this time it was down the parts of the city he didn't recognize. his feet were starting to become more sore at every step he took.the city was quiet and the roads were empty. it was pitch black in the sky, only a few stars peeking out through the black mess. city lights really did ruin the view of space.

clay had to smoke and he had to smoke now. he yearned for his cigarettes, he needed to forget about all the pain building up and allow the drug to fill his lungs and slowly tear them apart. it felt nice though, and that's all that mattered to him. it wasn't like he took care of himself much anyways. he never understood the point in following the rules when he could live life on the edge and actually enjoy living.

he enjoyed it when he was high or drunk though. his sober thoughts were filled with trauma and depression. drunk clay was happy and free, living with a different self. a self where everything was okay.

a gas station came into view. it sat across the street, the sign flickering. he could finally feel himself relax as he thought of all the cigarettes the building held. he hoped they had beer too, he could use some of that. even though it tasted awful, in clay's opinion, he absolutely loved it. being drunk, sleeping with women and forgetting himself. waking up in someone's bed and leaving before they woke up, never seeing them again. it was thrilling.

clay slowed to a walk as he crossed the street. he raised a hand and brushed his fingers through the front in attempt to flatten out some of the tangles that were present. when was the last time he brushed his hair again?

clay walked through the parking lot and into the gas station. he was met with the smell of mildew and mold. what did he expect? it was a half run down store after all. clay glanced around him to swiftly take in what he was standing in. he sighed loudly before walking to the counter.

amother boy sat on the other side, face propped up by his hand as he flipped through pages of a book with the other. he looked bored and clay couldn't blame him.

he had a fluff of brown hair on his head that looked well brushed and natural. his skin was smooth and it looked soft to clay's eye.

clay cleared his throat and spoke up first, "pack of malboro red, please?" he asked the cashier politely, pointing his index finger up at the glass cabinet behind the boy.

the brunette lifted his head up, setting the book onto the counter before he stood up. no words were spoken from him as he fumbled with his keys and stuck a golden one into the lock. he got on his tip toes and grabbed the pack that clay asked for and he set it down on the counter.

"that'll be six." the boy finally said brushing away some of his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.

clay rummaged in his wallet to find the cash. he pulled out six ones and some change, sliding the money over.

when the boy started to put the money in rhe register, clay got a better look at him.

he was definitely shorter than clay, had lighter skin and a very skinny frame. so skinny it seemed worrying. he didn't bring it up though.

"would you like a bag?-" the cashier started to say but cut himself off. his face flushed and the blonde could tell that he was embarrassed.

"sorry, i used to work at a walmart." the brunette apologized, sliding the cigarette pack over and returning to his seat.

clay chuckled quietly at his reaction. he was bored, so he spoke up. "why'd you go from walmart to here?" maybe it was a bit intruding but he was genuinely curious.

the cashier looked back at him and shrugged his shoulders as a response. he didn't reply with words and just left clay with the shoulder movement. rude.

"i'm uh, i'm clay," the blonde started calmly. "what's your name?" clay continued to press on, starting to take off the plastic on the cigarette pack.

the cashier was actually quite cute in clay's opinion. he couldn't just turn down the opportunity to make friends with someone like him. he looked lonely, no offense to him.

"george," the brunette told clay. "what do you want?" he asked, a hint of annoyance in his tone. his hand was lingering over his book as if screaming that he wanted clay to leave so he could return to reading.

clay smiled and quickly brushed a hand though his blonde locks once more. george was right, what did he want? a friend, a distraction?

"nothing, you just seem like an interesting person so i'm taking a chance, yknow?" clay responded after his long hesitation, hoping that his excuse was believable.

he didn't want to come out and say something stupid like 'sorry! i was talking to you because you're hot and i wanna get in your pants'. even if that was the reason anyway. which it wasn't.

george eventually made eye contact, an eyebrow raising at the same moment. "is that right? i've said hardly a few sentences to you."

clay shrugged. did that matter? "and..? what's wrong with making friends?" his smile turned into a smirk as he relaxed his stressed muscles and finding comfort for once.

"i dunno.. you seem a bit too trusting," george glanced at the counter. "i could quite literally be a serial killer and you wouldn't know that." george went off. clay secretly liked his accent.

"true" the blonde admitted. "but i don't care, the world is too overpopulated anyway." clay turned around, leaning his back against the counter and looking off at the isles.

they were the only ones there, the music above was some random pop song and clay made himself ignore it.

he closed his eyes, reaching in his pocket and pulling out a cigarette from his new pack. surely george wouldn't mind if he smoked inside?

clay set the piece in his mouth and lit the end with his pink lighter. he secretly loved pink, though his old friends would sometimes tease him about it. colors didn't belong to certain genders.

he turned his head slightly and glanced at george. he was quite pretty just sitting there. despite the bags under his eyes, clay admired him.

"can i get your number?" he blurted out, immediately regretting it. maybe he was coming off too creepy. he didn't want to scare george away before he even got a shot.

clay wasn't gay. he was bisexual. he loved women but he also had a soft spot for men. he wanted a relationship with both and maybe he could have a shot with george. he had just met him but he couldn't deny his admiration.

george hummed and pulled out his phone from his back pocket, sliding it towards clay. "password is 1101."

oh, okay. he didn't question it and took the phone, swiping in the code and quickly going to the contacts app.

"Clay ;)”

he found it funny but he wasn't so sure if george would like it.

"my number and address is there," clay explained to george as he shoved the phone back. "i gotta head out." he took a long inhale from his cigarette and exhaled in george's direction.

"oh, okay." clay could've sworn he heard disappointment in george's tone.

"see you."

"see you."


	2. texting

clay couldn't keep his mind off george.

his head kept going back to his soft expression and his strong british accent. maybe clay did have a thing for british boys.

they hadn't spoken since clay left the gas station. no texts had come through and no calls had been received.

clay was slightly disappointed and sad. he wanted to send something but he didn't want to come off desperate or rude. he hoped george hadn't forgotten about him or lied just to get clay to leave.

with a sigh, clay checked his phone once more, seeing an empty lock screen and no new texts. that was the twentieth time he'd checked in ten minutes. maybe he was slightly desperate. no, he was desperate.

_ding!_

he never sat up faster. his hand clutching his phone and pointing it to his face. the screen was bright but the text was brighter.

**Georgie**

hey.

clay immediately changed positions, propping himself with his elbows as he laid on his stomach. fingers moved swiftly across the screen as he typed out.

**Me**

hey

it was a short greeting. he didn't want george to think he was a creep or that he was waiting for his texts. which he was totally doing.

**Georgie**

how are you?

you haven't come back yet..

clay's heart soared and he smiled to himself. his feet came together and fought with themselves. he was so nervous over nothing.

did george want him to come back..? he hadn't run out yet. he'd love to see george again, to talk and get to know him.

**Me**

i didn't want to come off as annoying.

clay told the truth. he really didn't. maybe george didn't want notifications and maybe he wanted clay to be quiet until he texted first. he didn't know and he didn't wanna assume.

he set down his phone so he could stretch his arms and crack his knuckles. he hadn't got much sleep due to his mind traveling. it traveled to his love life, his sober life and his past life.

back when he lived with his parents.

clay was so proud of himself for being bisexual, to know himself and feel himself more.

all of his old friends had supported him and told him they were going to be with him through it all. clay had told them he was scared to tell his parents but his old friends encouraged that he should and that it would be fine.

so he did. he walked up to his mother and father one afternoon and spilled to then that he liked boys as well as girls. he had a smile on his face, searching his parents' eyes for any sort of support.

it never came.

instead, his father raised his voice and shoved clay against a wall. he had yelled at him for liking boys and how he couldn't have a son who liked dick. if clay had ever got a boyfriend, he couldn't have any grandchildren. plus, being gay was wrong and all of the lgbtq was wrong.

that put clay down severely. that's also when the mental and physical abuse started. it was only his father, his mother staying out of it.

he had tried to reason with his father, explaining that he would get a girlfriend and that him liking boys wouldn't effect his relationship with women.

that was a lie. clay realized that today.

but that made it worse. he earned blows to the head, the arms and the stomach. he was put into a case of depression, told clay that he was useless and any sort of love that his father had for him was wasted and gone.

it was clay's fault.

the day he turned eighteen, his father kicked him out. all his mother did was sit and watch. like she always did. he hated her for that. how could a woman just watch her husband beat their child?

clay had lost all his friends due to his sudden drug addiction. he started to underage drink and smoke. unfortunately, his friends had been those good boys and found him sick and troubled.

he hasn't spoken to them in years.

now clay had george and he wasn't alone anymore. he couldn't screw this up for himself.

his phone dinged again and he glanced at it.

**Georgie**

come back, malboro red on the house.

clay smiled like the idiot he was. he was acting dumb, like he was hopelessly in love. he hardly knew george and he knew that he wanted to change that.

**Me**

bet. omw.


	3. roof

clay was quick. he changed into his nicest clothes which ended up being a green hoodie and some skinny jeans.

he brushed his hair and made sure it looked nice. he wanted to impress george.

clay took no hesitation as he got into his car and started towards the gas station. driving would be a lot easier and less stressful than running.

he hardly remembered where he was going but once he turned down the street he immediately recognized where he was.

the memories of running had faded due to everything else happening. thankfully he could see the station in sight and thankfully hardly anyone was there.

he parked and was quick to get inside. he heard the door ding from the bell attached, announcing his presence.

"you actually came?" george started once clay stopped at the counter and leaned on it with his elbows.

"of course i did, i didn't want to miss the chance of taking to you." clay smirked at the other, his fingers tapping the counter anxiously.

george was prettier today. his hair was more brushed and his face looked a lot brighter and happier than the last visit. he looked as if he wanted to impress clay.

"you seem lonely huh?" george teased, copying clay and leaning on the counter as well.

the blonde scoffed and looked away, finding the tiled floors very intriguing now. "yeah, to be honest." he replied truthfully.

george stepped back and walked around the back so he could stand next to clay. now there wasn't a counter separating them and clay almost wanted to laugh at how short george was.

"i want to show you something." the brunette started, holding out his hand for the other.

clay did hesitate, unsure on whether to trust george. maybe he was a serial killer like he mentioned. he wouldn't be surprised.

yet, he took george's hand and allowed the shorter boy to lead him out the store and around to the back.

"won't you miss any customers?" clay asked as they walked, glancing behind him incase he could see any cars pulling up.

"no, i put the closed sign." george said back, letting their hands drop once they were behind the building.

there was a ladder that lead up to roof. clay wouldn't have noticed it if george hadn't started to climb.

he reached the top, peeking his head over and smiling. clay liked george's smile.

"come on, it's nice up here." george assured, his head disappearing.

clay scrambled up the ladder, groaning as he stepped onto the slick roof and looked around.

george sat in the middle of it, knees to his chest as he stared up at the sky. though, not many stars could be seen, it still was quite beautiful.

clay hesitantly took a seat beside the other, making sure he was a safe distance away for it to be comfortable.

"i always come up here." george started, his voice now in a low whisper. he didn't tear his gaze away from the sky, a smile creeping up to his lips.

clay looked away from george and tilted his head so he could see the dark sky above them.

"it's not that easy to see but if you look closer, you can see some of the constellations." george grabbed clays arm and moved him closer to himself, his hand pointing upwards.

clay blushed, following his arm and looking up to where it was pointed.

two bright stars shone through the black abyss. they were bigger than the others, showing off their size and sparkles.

clay's arm reached up to george's, which was still pointing upwards. he slid his hand up george's wrist and intertwined their hands above.

he carefully turned to see george. the brunette turned in sync, meeting his eyes.

clay could see the stars in his eyes.

george was the first to look away, snatching his hand away and tucking it in his lap. he was blushing, clay could tell. it was either from embarrassment or from the cold.

clay quickly removed his hoodie, putting it in george's lap. "wear it, you're cold."

the brunette felt the clothing in his hand, running his hand across the fabric. he lifted it up and slid it over his head, sliding his arms through their correct places.

clay watched silently, smiling when george sank into the warmth. he looked adorable in clay's hoodie and he wanted him to never take it off.

and oh god, the sweater paws. clay wanted to melt right then and there but he kept himself upright and quiet.

the entire area was silent. no words came from the boys and no words came from the road either. no cars passed by, no people walked by. it seemed like the end of the world. like it was just them and them only.

he could feel the wetness in the wind as it slapped him across the face. his arms gained goosebumps but he didn't care.

for the first time in awhile, clay was happy.


	4. george

clay was high.

he tried to tell himself to keep it down on the weed but the urge and habit broke over his newly built wall.

there he was, laying in bed. his led lights were set to red and his speaker across the room was playing loud pop songs.

he took another drag, closing his eyes as he allowed the toxic drug to fill his body. it felt good. he couldn't feel anything because his head was clouded and his mind was fuzzy.

only one thing slipped through his fucked up brain and stayed put.

george.

•

"thanks for showing me this place." clay had said, his gaze drifting towards the smaller boy beside him.

he was a true beauty. the moonlight hit him in the perfect areas and the shadows gave off a certain vibe that clay couldn't put his finger on.

he wanted to speak to george, to find comfort with the boy and share all his secrets. but he couldn't, he didn't want to scare him off.

"i best go, i gotta pack up and close the store." george had rose to his feet, barely breathing in clay's direction as he walked back towards the ladder.

clay had frowned in disappointment. had he said something?

he didn't see george again that night.

•

"george! what are you doing to me.." clay groaned as he whispered to himself, shaking his head. he couldn't have a crush on some cashier from the corner store, that was weird.

clay should find a richer man, steal his money and buy more weed and cigarettes. he'd love that.

but he couldn't. george was special to him already and he wasn't going to let him go that easily. he wasn't possessive, he was genuinely happy to have the boy.

george was pretty, funny, sarcastic and perfect on the outside. clay loved that about him. it was everything he wanted in a friend.

he set aside his drugs and climbed out of bed. he wanted to see george again. he wanted to give that boy a hug and sit in his living room and watch a tv show.

clay snatched his phone, pulling up the messages that him and george had sent to each other. he had to scroll but he finally found where george had texted his address.

he was too caught in the moment to call him, clay could just knock.

he grabbed some random jeans on the floor and slipped them over his legs, tightening a belt in the loops and continuing with the rest of his outfit.

jeans and a hoodie. one of this last pairs since george had practically stole his last one. clay didn't mind though, green looked good on the brunette.

he was quick out the door, jumping into his car and pulling off to george's house.

he missed him so much, he wanted to be around george everyday. he wanted to protect the boy from things he didn't know he needed protected from yet. maybe that was the high speaking or maybe that was sober clay telling the truth.

so clay drove over the speed limit, blasting music and tapping his steering wheel. he treated life like it was just him and he liked it that way.

the roads were clear so he could speed all he wanted with no worry of crashing. clay loved this time of night when he could break the law and live his life freely.

george's house wasn't far, only onto the highway for a few minutes then off the next exit.

he lived in a sort of rundown neighborhood. it was packed with kids and teens and seemed more poor than other places clay had seen.

he glanced at his phone then back at the houses as he slowly drove past them, searching for george's.

"ahh, finally." clay said to himself, pulling into a driveway and turning down his radio. he couldn't wait to surprise george.

maybe george would let him stay.

that'd be nice.

clay slumped out of his car and quickly walked to the front door. he was practically bouncing in excitement. he knocked a few times then stood back to wait for the door to open.

it took a minute but eventually, george appeared at the doorway as the door slowly opened. the brunettes eyes widened at the sight of clay.

"you can't be here." he stared at him as if clay was a crazy person. he was, but that wasn't the point.

"i wanted to see you, let me in," clay walked close and smiled down at his friend. "i won't bother you, just wanna talk?" he practically begged.

george gave him a few more stares before opening the door and stepping aside so clay had plenty of room to walk by.

the blonde thanked him, stumbling inside and letting his eyes search the area as he walked, admiring the decor and colors.

george came to stand next to him, looking around himself. "well, make yourself at home i guess," he told the other as he found a way to the couch. "i gotta finish something okay?"

clay only nodded, watching the brunette walk into a room and shut the door behind him. he noticed that it left a crack as it didn't close completely.

curious, he walked over and took a peek inside the crack.

george was sitting on a bed, rolling his sleeves up and searching his nightstand for something.

the blondes heart dropped when he saw multiple orange containers and george opening them all.

he so badly wanted to run in but his feet stayed glued in place.

george was holding a few pills when clay returned his stare, tossing them into his mouth as if it was candy.

clay ran in finally, grabbing george's chin and forcing his mouth open. it was strange but he stuck his fingers inside the others mouth and took out the pills he almost swallowed.

george started to cry, watching as clay crushed the pills with his fist and threw them in the garbage bin.

"why!?" clay whipped around and faced the older, crouching down to be at his height. george was crying, wiping his eyes as he wanted to see.

clay opened his arms and george gratefully fell into them, his hands grabbing clay's shirt and tugging tight.

it was heartbreaking to see someone clay thought was innocent, do something so awful and even with clay in the house.

he should've called the police and had george taken somewhere safe but he couldn't do that to him. he could fix george himself.

the other took a few more minutes of crying and sniffling before he quieted down, only letting a sniffle pass occasionally.

"ready to talk?" clay whispered, stroking george's hair gently with his fingers. he was so worried for him.

they both migrated to the bed, clay laid on his back while george curled into his side, face on his chest. it was cute, but clay couldn't think about that right now.

"i- i didn't want you to stay at the store," george began, making clay go completely silent.

"i've always been abused, kicked around and fucked with for my entire life. peer pressured and blackmailed to doing things i didn't want to, destroying my body and my relationship with my family.

"i started buying drugs and underage drinking around nineteen, i just wanted the pain to ease away and i wanted to be happy. and i was, until i lost everyone"

clay felt his heart shatter.

"tonight i.. i wasn't thinking straight. i knew this would upset you but i was so tired.. i am tired." george added, letting lose a painful sigh.

clay pulled him closer, as if he would get up and never return back to his side. he couldn't allow that.

"i have a shit job, a horrible apartment. no family or even a significant other," george looked up at clay. "i'm sorry clay. i'm so sorry."

clay hugged the older, holding him to his chest and placing a hand on his head to keep him close. his mind was everywhere, asking questions that he was too scared to ask out loud.

"i hate my life." george finished with, going silent and nuzzling his way into a comfortable spot on clay.

the blonde sniffled. george couldn't leave him, clay would help him. clay would help him live happily and they'd be best friends forever! maybe more if they were lucky.

"stay with me, get rid of this trash apartment and come live with me." clay offered.

george sighed. "you're only saying that because you're scared i'm going to hurt myself again."

he was at least half right.

"yes and no," the blonde admitted. "hearing your story, george. it broke me a little. i want to be the person to protect you from harm, to give you that happiness you deserve," he held in a few tears before continuing. "i want to be the one that sits on the roof with you, holds your hand and counts stars. let me be your protector, and i promise to do my job. i promise."

george didn't respond. the silence was slight hope for clay. maybe he was considering it. roommates with george would be a dream come true.

"fine, because you're my friend." the brunette looked back up at him, expecting a cookie or something.

clays heart threw a party.

"let's lay here longer though?" george spoke up softly. "you're warm."

"yeah, i'll stay." clay brushed his hand through george's hair again, closing his eyes and allowing sleep to overcome him.


	5. petting zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they go to a petting zoo, pretty much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating i was completely lazy this week

clay didn't leave george's side at all the next day.

he spectated from the living room when george was in the kitchen, he stood outside the bathroom door when george went in.

some might say he was being overprotective but clay was sincerely worried.

"why are you following me?" george finally asked as the two started down the sidewalk and towards the gas station.

clay shrugged his shoulders and stayed silent, keeping his eyes on the concrete he was stepping on.

did he want to say he was scared? did he want to say that he was terrified to leave george alone? what if he tried again. he wouldn't be there to help.

"whatever clay. we're almost there anyway." george announced as they turned the corner, the oh so familiar gas station was the only thing ahead.

clay exhaled a breath he didn't know he had. "listen george, why don't we go somewhere? the beach, an amusement park, skating?" he listed off some random activities that came at the top of his head.

george stopped completely, crossing his arms and looking at clay as if he was speaking a different language and speaking it crazily.

"what!?" clay had to stop too, turning back to meet eyes with the brunette.

"i have work, are you stupid?" george begun his walk again, rolling his eyes and pushing past his friend.

clay jogged up to walk beside him. he reached out and grabbed his arm to stop george in his tracks.

"skip, one day?" clay practically begged. "come do some things with me! it'll be fun!" he exclaimed, smiling wide in hopes he could change george's mind.

the shorter boy glanced back at his work and then back at clay. "fine, but you owe me." he aggressively pulled his arm away. 

"pog! let's go!" clay cheered, exaggerating his reaction. he heard george land a scoff and that was enough for him.

"seriously? a petting zoo?" george questioned as the two walked into a building and were hit with the smell of animals and grass. puppies were barking from their rooms and kittens laid on the front counter.

"yeah, i wanna get us a private room with a few kittens," clay said as they neared the counter. "i also want to have a talk with you." he didn't dare wait for george's response before beginning a conversation with the front desk woman.

george looked at clay for once. he allowed his eyes to travel across his body and face. he was extremely pretty, prettier than anyone he had ever seen.

his hair was slightly messed up but still managing to hold its soft look. it was blonde with strands of brown which made it dirty looking. it was perfectly cut, trimmed and well kept.

next, his face. the freckles that littered his cheeks gave him some extra personality and george wanted nothing more than to run his thumb over each one of them. 

clay turned away from the lady and faced george again, a smile planted across his face. 

george also loved his smile. it was so genuine and sweet. it was a smile that george wanted to kiss and smile against himself. 

but he couldn't. 

"let's go." clay used his hand and gestured for george to follow as he begun down the hallway. he had such a confident walk, george noted.

he stayed slightly behind the other but still close to engage in conversation. though he wasn't paying much attention to it.

clay swung open a door that lead into a big room. it had a couch and a television. the rest was filled with cat toys and cat trees. 

george almost fainted at the sight of half a dozen kittens wrestling in the middle of it. he wanted to explode from the cuteness this room gave off. 

though he knew the conversation wouldn't be as cute.

clay took his seat on the couch while george settled on the floor, scooping two kittens in his lap.

"we need to talk george, about what happened." clay immediately started, catching george by surprise.

he wanted to talk but he was so scared. he couldn't open up and then give clay heartbreak when he couldn't take it anymore.

it was worse than he thought. the urge to just end it. the want to be free and happy. 

clay was giving him slight hope for life, but it wasn't enough. they were just friends.

"okay, let's talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤭


	6. i love you

"why?"

so straightforward it made george uncomfortable. how could he just answer that? did he even know?

"why do you do this.. i can.. i can be here for you, george." clay continued when he was met with george's silence.

the brunette focused on petting the kittens so he wouldn't start crying. he knew he had to tell clay more in detail if he was to live with him.

"i'm just so tired," george finally began, taking his eyes off the animals and back up to the boy in front of him. "i'm tired of being 24 and barely making it. it's like the world hates me." 

clay was silent as he listened to george, wanting to get up and hug him until he couldn't anymore. it's what he deserved. 

"i don't have a lover, i hardly make any money, i'm not.." he trailed off, feeling tears breaking in his eyes and threatening to slip out. 

clay finally stood up, walking over to george and settling behind him. he put his legs out flat around george's side and pulled the boy against his chest.

his arms wrapped safely around the brunettes chest and his chin rested on his head.

this seemed to calm him down slightly. "i'm broken, i don't want to be here." george finished, closing his eyes and relaxing against clay's body.

clay watched the kittens lay in george's lap or settle somewhere on the rug. he wanted a cat.

"i'm gonna be here, george," clay began. "i'm gonna be the one to save you." 

"i promise." 

clay opened the front door to george's house for him, allowing the smaller boy to enter first.

he followed, putting an arm on his shoulder for reassurance. "you sure you want to?" he carefully questioned.

george nodded, sighing. "yeah, let me grab a few things then we can go." he started walking again, clay's hand falling back to his side.

clay didn't follow george. he had to trust him because he knew he couldn't be there every second of the day to watch him. he wasn't a child either.

george was an adult, a beautiful, dream like human being. he deserved so much more. whether it was money or fame, george deserved whatever his heart desired.

clay would make sure he was happy. he would make sure george got what he wanted. because he was special to clay and he never wanted to let him go. 

"i got some of my shit, we can go now." george announced as he left his bedroom with a blue suitcase following.

clay smiled, happy he had returned. he held out his arm and george gratefully wrapped his around it. they weren't that comfortable for hand holding yet.

"you'll love the guest room, the mattress is incredibly soft," clay told george as they walked, "sometimes i sleep in there instead of my actual room." he chuckled and glanced sideways at his friend.

george was smiling. he was shooting looks up at clay every few seconds and eventually they made eye contact. 

it was like the world stopped around them. everyone was gone and they were the only two people left. eyes traveled in the other, searching for emotion and searching for any sort of feeling that they could share.

"we're almost there." clay tore his eyes away and focused on where he was walking so he didn't trip and die or something.

"clay?" george asked, it coming off as more of a whisper.

the blonde turned and smiled. "yeah georgie?" 

"thank you, for this. all of it." george smiled and slid his arm down so their hands touched.

they clasped hands and intertwined them. clay thought george's hand was warm and he squeezed it for reassurance.

"of course, i love you georgie." he smiled and ruffled his friends hair with his free hand. "you're a good friend."

george kept his smile but looked away. had he just been friend zoned? maybe clay didn't mean it that way, friends can say i love you to each other. 

"we're here." clay broke george's thoughts and stopped walking, instead he turned and started up a short driveway.

george followed, he had to because of their hands. yet he wanted to run away.

"make yourself at home." clay closed the door behind them once they were inside. he broke their hands apart by releasing his. 

george immediately missed the warmth of his palm. he wanted to hold his hand again. 

george followed clay into what he assumed was the guest bedroom. he expected less but was surprised when the room didn't look that bad. he could definitely live in this.

"i'll be in the living room, you can unpack if you like." clay waved and left the room, closing the door behind him. 

george turned back to his suitcase and stared at it. god, why was he suddenly blushing and flustered when clay spoke to him or touched him?

"what have i got myself into?"


	7. can i kiss you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says it all

"you were right, that mattress was comfortable." george told clay as he left the guest room.

clay was leaning against the wall in front of him, smiling. he had woken george up because he had some sort of 'surprise'. 

"i bought you something, come in the living room to see." clay waved his hand and started walking towards the living area. 

george excitedly followed, running his hand against the wall. he had absolutely no idea what clay could have bought him. he didn't have many hobbies or anything. 

"what is this?" george stopped by the sofa and looked at the contents on the coffee table. 

there was a bucket hat, a folded piece of either pants or what looked like a skirt and a sweater 

"all for you, go try them on." clay handed him the clothes and gestured to the guest room he had just came from.

george was so very confused but he listened and headed back to his room. 

he unfolded the clothes on the bed and he almost wanted to slap clay. how could he get him a skirt? was that something boys wore?

he stared at it for a few seconds before signing and removing his clothes.

george walked out of his room after twenty minutes. he had wanted it to be perfect for clay in hopes to impress him again.

his skirt was black and white plaid, short on his legs so he wore his boxers underneath. on top was a gray long sleeve crew neck. he thought he looked alright. 

his alright went to incredible when he saw clays jaw drop and a gasp escaping his lips. "wow." he said.

george giggled and walked closer, sitting on the couch with his legs underneath him. he was definitely teasing.

"you look beautiful, i didn't think you'd actually put it on." clay scooted closer and put his hands on george's shoulders.

george's heart skipped a beat as he met eyes with his friend. he didn't look like his friend now. he had some sort of love and hope in his emerald eyes. 

"can i.. kiss you?"

george's mouth opened and closed immediately. did he hear that right?

"yeah." he replied anyway, closing his eyes so he couldn't see it happen. 

lips pressed to his in such a gentle way. it wasn't a forced tongue or a rough start but soft and sweet.

george's entire body relaxed and he slipped into clay's arms, allowing the other boy to hold him and protect him.

he wanted to scream, hug clay or attack him in more kisses, but that would be too dramatic.

fire scorched his bones and his heart was banging against his chest. he'd never kissed a guy before but clay was making it all worth it.

when they moved their heads away, george's eyes widened and he looked deep into clay's. his beautiful, breath taking eyes.

clay smiled and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against george's and allowing a sigh to pass through his lips.

george was overwhelmed by happiness but he contained it and closed his eyes along with the other, repeating the same gesture.

minutes passed and neither spoke. they were trying to think of what to say. george had nothing.

"i uh.. i like you.. like like you, georgie," clay finally began, george swore that he was trying to actually kill him from a heart attack. 

"you like me?" he repeated, raising a shaky hand to cup clay's flushed cheek and rub it with his thumb. he was so beautiful.

"i do.. is that.. too far?" clay tried to pull away but george held him in his place. 

"no, i like you too.." george confessed, cupping now both of his cheeks, allowing himself to be cradled by the blonde. clay made him feel like a million dollars, a gem. special.

clays eyes lit up and he pecked george's lips quickly. "you do!?" he showed his excitement and a smile peeked through and transformed his frown.

george didn't reply, wrapping his arms around clay and hugging him for comfort. maybe he loved clay, maybe he could tell him. 

they both laid with each other for longer. nothing was bothering them and they wanted to feel each other's warmth. 

both were extremely happy.

happy.


	8. dance with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cute dancing stuff because fluff is sometimes good

"hey george?" clay called from the other room.

they were currently rearranging clay's room so they were both comfortable in it.

after their kiss, the two sat down and talked. they decided they wanted to be together and that they would set some boundaries along the way.

"yeah?" george called back, walking into clay's room with a pillow and some of his freshly cleaned clothes to put away.

"i finished changing the mattress, help me put the sheets and covers on, will you?" clay lowered his voice and smiled at george's presence.

the brunette nodded and abandoned his clothes on the dresser to help his boyfriend. 

boyfriend.

that word would never be normal for george. some normal customer who just wanted cigarettes was now someone he was deeply in love with. someone that made him feel special.

someone who's heart was going to be broken.

"thanks love." clay said politely and he and george started to cover the mattress in a white sheet and fold the dark blue covers on top.

"is that everything? i'm exhausted." george stood back and looked around the room. the bed was made, the closet was organized with george's clothes along with clay's, and george's personal belongings were in the nightstand on his side of the bed.

"yeah, seems like it. cuddle?" clay asked, laying on the bed and opening his arms for george.

the shorter boy crawled into bed with a smile, pressing his body against clay's and allowing the taller to hold him and secure his arms around his smaller frame.

"so warm, as always." george commented, closing his eyes and pressing his ear against his boyfriends chest. his heartbeat was always beautiful to him.

"so stunning, as always." clay said back, smiling into george's hair.

george sighed and cuddled further into clay, their legs tangling together. warm bodies still and safe with each other, never wanting to pull away.

george yawned, tired from the activities today. he decided a little nap wouldn't hurt so he closed his eyes and allowed sleep to consume him.

george woke up to cold. 

he slowly opened his eyes, rubbing the edges so he could see clearly.

he was under the blankets now, but clay wasn't there. why had he left?

george was curious so he slipped out of bed and stretched his arms up in the air, feeling his back thank him with a few cracks.

he stumbled out of the room, making his way down the hallways and into the living room ahead. 

to his surprise, clay sat on the couch, rose in hand and suit on instead of his clothes from yesterday. he looked very fucking handsome.

"what's this?" george giggled nervously as clay stood up at his entry. he strolled over and picked up george's hand, kissing it.

"dance with me georgie." he whispered, loud enough for the brunette to hear and immediately blush.

"okay." he agreed, a smile permanently placing itself on his face. a smile that matched clay's. a smile because of clay. 

the two placed their hands in the correct spots, clay pulling george extra close. the warmth of his body sent george's cold one shivers.

"just move to the music, alright love?" clay pulled george into the middle of the living room where he had moved the coffee table. 

"i look awful." george commented as they danced together in the empty spaces, george having to apologize for stepping on his feet a few times.

"no, you look absolutely gorgeous my love." clay leaned forward the slightest bit and kissed the brunettes forehead.

george wanted to squeal at the name but he contained his excitement. "thank you." 

silence covered the room, the two listening to the music as they danced across the room, george was finally getting the hang of it and no longer stepped on clay.

clay gave him a little twirl which forced a giggle from george. "you're good at this." he commented.

"thanks, my uh.. my mother used to dance with me sometimes." clay shrugged and stopped moving, forcing george to as well. 

"i'm sorry? did i upset you?" george frowned and reached up to cup clay's cheek.

the blonde shook his head and leaned his cheek into his hand, resting it there. "no, i just miss her sometimes. we had our good moments." 

george hummed and pecked his boyfriend on the lips. "you have me now, okay?" he smiled once more and slid a hand into his hair.

"yeah, i know." the taller boy buried his face into george's neck, sighing in relaxation. george sighed happily and played with his hair as they stood there.

"you're so beautiful," clay mumbled, not moving from his spot. "so beautiful.."

george giggled at this and kissed his head quickly. "not as beautiful as you though." he argued back playfully.

clay pulled away and made eye contact with the other. "no, you're way more beautiful than me." he dragged out the 'y' and smiled as if he won.

george scoffed and pulled away, crossing his arms. "you're tall, handsome as fuck and have a brighter personality than the sun. you're e embodiment of perfect." 

clay was stunned for a few seconds and george swore he won. 

but then he came forward and started to tickle the brunette. of course he would, he knew he lost the fight.

george broke into a fit of giggles and protests, trying to pry and push away his boyfriends arms. 

"s- stop!" he managed as he was still trying to escape. honestly it kind of hurt.

"fine, but admit that you're more beautiful than me." clay stopped his hands for a brief moment, still holding them in place incase he didn't get the answer he wanted.

"i- i'm more beautiful than you.. i guess." george sighed in defeat and leaned against the wall, catching his breath.

clay wheezed and gave george a swift kiss, turning away. "thank you love."

george shook his head and watched clay clean up the things on the couch.

god, he loved this man.


	9. would you like a bag?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> doesn’t even want something from the store, what the hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: suicidal thoughts/letter

"hey baby, wake up, i'm going to the store." clays voice woke george from his slumber, causing him to open his eyes and look into clay's green ones.

the best thing to wake up to. 

"hey, what do you want from the store?" clay asked sweetly and quietly, caressing george's cheek with his hand.

george yawned, sitting up and looking tiredly at his handsome boyfriend. he loved him so much it hurt. 

it hurt so badly.

"oh, nothing. i don't need anything.. go on without me." he tiredly slumped forward into clay's arms, wrapping his own around the others torso and hugging him.

the blonde smiled and kissed his head gently. "okay love, i'll be back soon," he put his lips out and george gratefully kissed them. "i just need some groceries and a few other things." 

george nodded, waving goodbye as clay pulled away and started for the bedroom door. "bye." 

clay left the room but stoped when george called out; "clay!" 

he turned. "yes?" he was smiling, george didn't remember the last time he frowned.

"i love you." 

clay froze and his mouth opened slightly. it took him a few seconds to process before he started back to the bedroom. 

"baby.." he climbed on the covers and attacked george in a strong hug, sending the brunette in a fit of happy giggles.

"i love you too.." clay whispered, rubbing his cheek with his thumb and staring into george's eyes.

"store!" george said after a few moments, pushing the taller boy off him. 

clay chuckled and ruffled george's hair. "yeah, yeah. see you later my love." he finally got out of the room and eventually out the house.

george laid back on the bed, closing his eyes and releasing a painful sigh. he had been holding that in for too long.

at least clay loved him back, because george loved clay more than anything. he was so special but george knew he deserved much better. 

his eyelids opened and he slowly got out of bed. thankfully he had fallen asleep over the covers so they were still neatly made from the morning. 

george turned to his nightstand and opened the drawer, sending his hand under a pile of random papers and broken chargers. 

he grabbed a plastic bag and an envelope from the bottom, pulling them from the drawer. they'd been in there for awhile so george had to shake the starting to form dust off.

he placed the items on the bed neatly, the bag closed where you couldn't see the contents inside and the envelope clear next to it.

he allowed himself to look around the room, take in the colored and poorly decorated walls. he loved waking up to this room, to look to his side and see clay sleeping peacefully next to him.

when his chest rose then fell, his hand usually in his hair and the other on his chest. he had memorized it.

when he would wait for clay to wake up and when he did, they'd just end up kissing and cuddling and going right back to sleep.

he loved it. 

george shook his head, taking off his shoes and placing them by the dresser. he made sure everything was okay before he walked into the bathroom. 

he shut the door slowly, locking it with a shaky hand before he finally exhaled and turned to the sink.

"ah shit, i forgot my wallet." clay cursed to himself, starting back up the driveway and back through the front door.

"george! i forgot my wallet, have you seen it?" he called out, walking to the bedroom to search for the object.

he noticed george wasn't on the bed anymore but instead his spot was taken by a random plastic bag, presumably from a store and a white envelope with his name scribbled in cursive on the front.

"is this a gift?" clay asked out again, picking up the envelope first and tearing open the seal.

inside was two pages, writing was filling every line. he gulped and started with the first page, beginning to read.

_____________

clay,

read this whole letter before you do anything. you'd ruin it. i'm writing this at midnight, two nights before you will get your hands on these papers. 

i've come to say i'm sorry. so, terribly sorry. i'm sorry because i'm an awful boyfriend for doing this to you, for hurting your heart when you thought everything's as fixed.

this is NOT your fault, do not blame yourself for this. it's mine and my thoughts. 

you really helped me out of my deep depression state. you made me the happiest man alive and i am so grateful for every moment we have spent together.

sometimes other things can take away that happiness, some things are stronger and overpower the happiness and force me to feel ways i don't want to feel.

i should be an innocent boy with a wonderful boyfriend, never having the urge to die or run away from things. i'm always running away from my problems and i'm so tired.

when you walked in the store that day, i knew i had to talk to you. i was totally playing hard to get but that's just how i roll, you know?

i hope you love me. i hope i got the courage to tell you before i place this note on the bed and wait for you to see it. because i love you.

i love you more than anything in this entire fucking world, universe, life itself even.

when i look into your eyes, i see my future and i see my beautiful boyfriend clay. 

i am not good enough for you though. i never was or will be. you deserve a rich boy who is pretty, i'm none of that. 

i'm not cool, i don't smoke like you do, i don't have a talent like you do with your coding works and plug-in shit. that's so fucking cool and i am nowhere near that kind of talent.

i love you clay. 

never forget that. 

this isn't your fault.

it's mine.

\- George

_____________

clay dropped the note, grabbing the bag and opening it quickly. there was a single pack of cigarettes and a postcard on top.

'would you like a bag? here's one.'

"george!" he called out, dropping everything and looking around the room in panic.

the bathroom light was on.

he ran over, his hand grabbing the doorknob and twisting violently. the door wouldn't budge so he banged on it. 

"george! open the fucking door! i know you're in there." he let go, pushing past the furniture and stumbling out of the bedroom. his mind was everywhere but his brains came forward and carried him to the garage.

the garage door was slammed open by clay and he started rummaging through the toolbox to his right. everything looked the same through his clouded vision and circling brain. 

there. he found the door key. 

clay practically ran back to the bathroom door, his hands sliding against the wall to keep his balance. 

he struggled but the key finally went through the doorknob, his hand fumbling with it as he unlocked the door.

"george!" clay screamed as he opened the door.

"george!" he cried as he found his body.

"george." he whimpered as he called the ambulance.

"g- george." he whispered as they took his body away.

"george." he breathed as he sat on his bed, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry 


	10. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clay gets a visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PERSONALLY DISLIKE THIS STORY BUT INCASE IT GETS REMOVED FROM WATTPAD ITS GONNA BE HERE <3

one year later

a loud bang was what clay jumped awake to. it scared the living shit out of him but he immediately knew who it was.

a smile formed as he crawled out of bed. he didn't bother to change as he walked to the front door. 

the door swung open and strong arms wrapped around him. 

"nick! you really came?" clay laughed, hugging his best friend back with the same grip. he had missed this man.

nick and him had met a few months ago, immediately bonding and becoming close. clay absolutely loved nick, he was the one best friend he could ever ask for.

he helped him through his depressing states and taught him how to be happy in times he wasn't so near there.

"hey big c! how's life?" nick pulled away and gave clay one last slap on the shoulder, a 'bro' gesture he called it.

clay closed the door behind nick as they both walked to the living room, taking their respectful seats.

"life's been good! finally got a million subscribers on youtube and i've been improving on my coding." clay ranted quickly, his smile growing wider at the thought.

nick smiled back, clearly happy as well. "that's sick, have you heard from george's grandmother?"

of course this would come up, clay had prepared himself for this. it was a topic they really had to talk about.

"yeah, she called the other day." clay shrugged and looked down at his fingernails, messing with them nervously.

"and..?" nick gently pressed on, his voice quiet and trying not to hurt the blonde in anyway.

"he gets out of rehab next week.." clay bit his lip, finally dropping his hands and turning his attention fully back to his friend.

nick smiled and reached out, a gentle hand being placed on his shoulder. "that's amazing, i'm so proud of you for getting through it."

clay scoffed and shook his head. "i- i haven't seen him in a year.. the last thing we said was that we loved each other.." he looked away once more.

"does he still love me?"

nick sighed from beside him, his voice hesitant. "yes clay, george loves you so much. you two are soulmates, i fucking know it."

clay allowed his words to fill his body. the thought of george loving him sent shivers down his body. 

"i hope so, because i love him too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read this on wattpad too :) 
> 
> my insta: dreamnotfound   
> my twitter: honkpara
> 
> THANKS FOR READING AND STUFFS 👉👈
> 
> no there won’t be a part two/sequel !!


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